My Thoughts on: Anger

Sunday 2 September 2018

'We are not perfect human beings, nor do we pretend to be. But it is necessary for us to be the best version of ourselves' 

I want to talk about a very important topic this week. I have been thinking about this for a while and I thought a Sunday post would be the best place to tackle this topic. Anger or more specifically, being hotheaded. 

If you don't know me personally, then you won't know that I can be quite hotheaded. I am not someone to shout or yell at someone, but I am quick to anger and I do hold grudges quite easily. But recently, I have been trying to break out of this cycle. As you grow every day, you find certain parts of your personality that are almost counterproductive to your goal of self-love and overall acceptance of yourself.

1. Ask yourself, is this something worth getting angry about?

Are you just getting angry because it's your first natural response? It's so important to understand, that if you are naturally hot-headed, getting angry is usually easier than any other response. But, it isn't always the correct one. 

2. Take a breath

Sit, take a breath and think, does this matter? Is this going to affect me in the long run? Somethings really aren't worth your tears or arguments. 

3. Take a break

But your phone down, get up, leave the room, evacuate the entire situation. Remove yourself. Stop replying to the texts or posts that are making you angry. If something is meant to go a certain way, it will. Take a breath, relax, sleep on it and in the morning, if you are still angry, then go from there.

4. Think about the other person

If you are angry due to someone else's actions, consider why they have done that before you get angry. This is definitely a new step for me. Sometimes, people go through things and their feelings bubble in certain ways. Not everything that makes you angry is necessarily aimed at you and you need to think about other people around you. People make mistakes and although you shouldn't always let your anger go, as it may lead to you being treated like a doormat, you have to learn who is going through a tough time themselves. 

5. Anger is sometimes a completely rational response 

Don't get me wrong, anger is sometimes the correct feeling. Anger is a completely valid feeling to have. If you do all the things above, you take a breath, you think about it, sleep on it and you are still angry, then express it. I am not saying anger is a completely negative feeling but having the hotheaded trait does mean that it's the easiest thing to express. Maybe the correct response is to ignore actions but maybe, just maybe, it's to stand up and explain why you feel the way you do. Anger can be healthy too. 

So from one hotheaded human to another, please think before you shoot straight to anger. Sometimes, your anger is not misplaced and believe me, I am all on board with being treated with the respect you deserve. But think first. Do I need to get angry about this right now? Sometimes, it's better to ignore and move on. 

What I was listening to whilst I wrote this: Would you be so kind - Dodie

Join the conversation!

  1. I know you are a hot headed person, I never understood where this has come from..... it must be from your father! I am excited to see you out this in you. Your mumma.xx

  2. Yeah I like this it’s really well written x

  3. Great post! I've started noticing a lot of anger in myself starting last year when I was finishing off my degree. I try to catch myself in the act, but sometimes I'm a little too late haha. Great advice :)

    1. Thank you Nele! Lovely to see your name pop up in up in my comments. Me too!x

  4. I'm not a very hot- headed person- quite the opposite really, which made me smile once I got to point 5 when you spoke about how sometimes it's necessary to express your feelings! I love your tips, and they are so useful for even someone that struggles to show their anger as opposed to someone who struggles to reign their anger in. x


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