My Thoughts
Okay, let's talk about fast fashion. Fast fashion is where inexpensive clothing is produced rapidly by mass-market retailers in response to the latest trends.
When I was in high school, Superdry was the biggest brand that you had to have. I (fortunately) never got on this trend. But my school was flooded with kids running around in their pink and black or orange and black, waterproof, Superdry coats. Another big trend in high school was Cath Kidston bags and yes, I was in on this trend. For all the lucky ex-high school kids who don't know what Cath Kidston is, let me explain. There was a take-over of bags from this shop in my school. These bags were oil clothed and made to last forever. However, as the Superdry and Cath Kidston trends died down, fewer and fewer people bought their coats and bags to school. Now, what I find funny about this is that these products were not cheap and were definitely meant to last. And although I am definitely didn't jump on the waterproof, Superdry coat bandwagon, I was guilty of hoarding Cath Kidston bags in the back of my wardrobe until I recently donated them. And this is a classic example of fast fashion.
I would love to say that fast fashion affects children more than adults, but in reality, I don't think it does. Yes, if children go to school and see everybody wearing a Superdry coat, they are going to want one too and eventually when people stop wearing them, they will stop too. But I think adults are just as inclined to go into shops like H&M or Primark and browse the sale rack. I think fast fashion is marketed more towards adults. For instance, every advert for clothing on Tv is for aimed at adults, even the clothes for children is marketed towards parents as the clothing is described as being 'durable and easy to wash', which I can almost guarantee, the children will not care about.
So, there are a few reasons how fast fashion is impacting our environment. First of all, textile dyeing is the second largest polluter of clean water globally, after agriculture. The amount of energy and dye it takes to colour clothes is crazy and with clothes going and out of trend as fast as they do, it creates an even bigger carbon footprint. Secondly, any waste we create as humans is not great. So many clothes start at full price in the store, then go to the sale rack for really cheap and are then just thrown away when not sold. In reality, chains should be donating clothes or putting non-sold items to better use. Thirdly, most popular clothing stores use polyester in their fabrics as it's cheap and durable. However, when you wash polyester garments they shed microfibres that add to the increasing levels of plastic in the ocean. Microfibres are really small and can easily pass through water and sewage, making their way straight to the sea. Which is exactly what humanity should be trying to avoid.
How can we do to combat fast fashion? It's simple really, donate, reuse, resell and try to avoid bigger retailers. Of course, I am not saying boycott shops like Zara, TopShop and H&M forever, but after you have used and loved some clothing, donate it. Don't bin it. If you have a whole in a loved jumper, don't throw it away, sew it back up. Also, shop more in charity shops. The amount of bargains I have found in my local thrift shops is crazy and to think that I could have paid full price for a less environmentally friendly version in a high-street shop is ludicrous.
Reduce, reuse and recycle is important - even when it comes to clothes.
Thank you for reading this post.
Welcome to another 'A Note On...' post. Let's add to this little series, shall we? To quote the classic Mulan film, let's get down to business...
This week, I want to talk about friendships, but most importantly, adult friendships. Yes, there is more to friends than the ones you make in primary school or high school. I am talking about a certain, mature friendship that comes with years of complaining, bitterly drinking coffee and crying together. There is nothing that will bring you closer. But most importantly, I want to talk about my friends. The people who I see pretty much every day (without fail) who make every day, that little bit brighter, that little bit lighter and that little bit more fun.
So, if you are a regular reader (if you aren't, then welcome, good to see ya), then you would often read a post which will include the words 'my roommate' or 'my best friend who I live with'. This is Shalieka, the yin to my yang, my partner in crime, my best friend who is currently sat, drinking coffee in my room with no trousers on. She is basically my assistant. She takes all my photos, navigates through the majority of my contracts and helps me when I am stress-crying about my posting schedule alongside uni work. Although we differ in many ways, she is great to get drunk with and will even make a coffee in the morning when I am too hungover to move. So when you see the word 'roommate' or 'housemate', that's my best friend Shalieka.
Katie or Katherine as I shall call her from now on is my spark in an otherwise dull day. If she had a pound for every time I called her crying at early hours of the morning, she would have exactly...£4, which I know doesn't sound a lot, but I am not really a crier and as we have only been best buds for just over a year now, that's a lot to me! She is my go-to when I want to drink wine, cry, study or watch WAY too many hours of YouTube videos instead of studying for our degree. We are in constant contact. I mean that literally. Constant. If we are not together, we are either putting witty comments in our group chat or on the phone to each other. We spend so much time together that her having a bad dream is regualry a topic of our conversations because the time we go to sleep is actually the only time we spend apart. An adult friendship is offering support but also, it's being able to spend countless hours with each other and never getting bored.
Hello, Tamar. I know you are definitely reading this, but will you comment on it today? Who knows? It is often said, that friendships that start rocky usually end up the best and I think that applies here. To all the messages that we send expressing how much we love each other, only to be met with 'how drunk are you?' in response and to all the times, we have actually got drunk together, let's keep those coming, I enjoy those. Thank you for letting me nest in your house throughout summer, thank you for remembering every detail about me and thank you for being in my life.
Lauren/Loz, I want to begin first by apologising. I am sorry for screaming at you repeatedly to make a good video, I am sorry for waking your mum up and I am sorry for navigating you into that tiny parking space, which ended up in you scratching your brand new car. But more importantly, I am sorry for making you pee yourself that one time - and I am sorry for repeating it now, on the internet, when I have nearly 10k in followers. I love you lots. Thank you for inviting me into your crazy family and making me into your life-long friend. I will always visit you, a bottle of wine in hand and watch (shameless), countless hours of the Kardashians, whilst cuddled up in bed. Also, massive thank-you for my coffee addiction, that was all you. I shake now when I don't have coffee for 24 hours now.
I didn't know whether to include my boyfriend in this post about adult friendships. But, as I thought about it more, I realised that adult friendships are about compromise, support and patience. Which is exactly what an adult relationship entails. My boyfriend definitely has to be to one of my best friends. You will listen to me bitch, express my feelings and laugh so hard that I cry. You will tell me every day that I look beautiful and that I can accomplish every task that I have set for myself, even if I don't feel like it. You will make sure I have eaten properly that day and that I have turned my straighteners off before I left the house. You also tolerate my snoring, my hair being all over your clothes (even though I haven't seen you that day) and my general messiness. Thank you for being in my life.
Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte, where do I begin? I don't think 'wife' or 'better half' is a strong enough phrase to quite describe what type of adult friendship we have. If I have gossip, I will call you. If I have done something not exactly 'smart', I will call you. But most importantly, you are a good influence to my bad ways. Every time I sip my PSL (pumpkins spiced lattes for all my uncultured, un-basic readers), I think of you. Every time I shop for Halloween decorations, I think of you. Thank you for making my sixth form the funniest and laziest two years of my life. I love you, my queen.
Hello Katie. I really hope you are reading this because an adult friendship is exactly what we have. And I want to thank you for many things. First of all, thank you for letting me loose on your Tinder that one time, it was funny and I apologise (from both me and Charlotte) for all the creepy messages you have received. I will always be there when you are worried because I know you worry a lot. But that's what adult friendships are. Think of me as your leaning post. Something you can lean on whilst you hike up the mountain of life and you need to catch your breath. Thank you, my OG princess (cringe, I am so sorry).
Liam, my heart, my soul, the one who will remove my shoes and makeup when I am drunk. One day, I will cut off your tongue for chewing loudly next to me. An adult friendship is all about compromise and believe me, there is nothing but compromise in ours. Sometimes I want to murder you. But when I hear you trip-trap down the stairs to make you midnight toast, I can't help but calling you into my room and having a catch-up session about our day, even though, we have, as usual, spent pretty much all of it together. Thank you for listening to me whine and cry at 1am in the morning, thank you for washing up after me when I decorate the kitchen in food and more than anything, thank you for worrying about me.
You never forget your first university friend and believe me, I never will. I won't see you for months and once we are finally reunited, we are able to pick up exactly where we left off, all over again. You made me a cup of tea and watched Fresh Meat with me whilst I cried on my first night of university. You are always the first to comment on or like my posts. You always make time to see me for coffee.. You are the best, first university friend I could ever ask for.
Basically, what I am saying is, if there is a friend in your life that has been there for you, do not let them go.
If I have missed you off of this list - I want to say thank you. This is just a handful of my adult friendships that I experience every day. I hope this very personal post wasn't boring to read. I really enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading, my little rays of sunshine.
Do you hate the sound of people chewing? I do.
*Warning - this post is going to be a bit more of a rant than my other 'A note on...' posts*
For all the lucky people who don't know what misophonia is, it is when you are sensitive to certain sounds. Noises like someone popping their gum, chewing their food too loudly or overly loud breathing can cause you to have feelings of anger or panic.
I live in a house with four people and we all eat dinner together. When we are all eating, I tend to put music on. Usually tunes that everyone knows, so that it's an enjoyable experience but I do this, so it masks the sound of them chewing. I have found that my hatred for people chewing always increases when I am already stressed because my emotions are already on the surface and it doesn't take much.
One thing I have really not been able to stand at the moment is Youtube videos, where people are chewing or reviewing a food project. The sound of the chewing coming through the speakers is literally the worst noise I can physically think of. If a YouTuber has 'Mukbang' (where they eat a lot of food) in the title I will not, repeat, will not click on that video. It does not make me want to try the food, it does not want to make me want to watch the video, it makes my skin crawl. I would highly say that people eating loudly is one of my biggest, if not my biggest, pet peeve.
What I wanted to know though, is it normal? Is this common? So, as most people do, I took to the internet to find this out. So actually being diagnosed with Misophonia is rare, but it is common amongst people with anxiety and who get easily stressed. The main sounds that trigger a reaction (for me, an internal rage) are, babies crying, people chewing or heavy breathing. I can't say that babies crying is a trigger for me, but definitely chewing and breathing is.
After scouring the internet, I found that no-one was really sure how many people could suffer from Misophonia, but they estimated that it was 20% of the population. According to a study, '81% of people responded "no" when asked if they had spoken to their doctor about having this hatred of sound'. So why aren't more people talking about it? Again, after extensive research, I have found that people are still trying to raise awareness of this. Which I found extremely interesting.
Sorry, this post has been super ranty, but I find the concept of Misophonia very interesting and something that should be talked about more often. Below, I have listed the two studies that you can read if you are still as interested as I am. Thank you for reading my opinion filled post! All of my 'A Note On...' series is brutally honest, but with this post, I really tapped into something I feel is very personal.
What I wanted to know though, is it normal? Is this common? So, as most people do, I took to the internet to find this out. So actually being diagnosed with Misophonia is rare, but it is common amongst people with anxiety and who get easily stressed. The main sounds that trigger a reaction (for me, an internal rage) are, babies crying, people chewing or heavy breathing. I can't say that babies crying is a trigger for me, but definitely chewing and breathing is.
After scouring the internet, I found that no-one was really sure how many people could suffer from Misophonia, but they estimated that it was 20% of the population. According to a study, '81% of people responded "no" when asked if they had spoken to their doctor about having this hatred of sound'. So why aren't more people talking about it? Again, after extensive research, I have found that people are still trying to raise awareness of this. Which I found extremely interesting.
Sorry, this post has been super ranty, but I find the concept of Misophonia very interesting and something that should be talked about more often. Below, I have listed the two studies that you can read if you are still as interested as I am. Thank you for reading my opinion filled post! All of my 'A Note On...' series is brutally honest, but with this post, I really tapped into something I feel is very personal.
What I was listening to whilst I wrote this: Where You Are - Moana
*This is not my photo
Read more about the study: here
Read more information about Misophonia: here
'We are not perfect human beings, nor do we pretend to be. But it is necessary for us to be the best version of ourselves'
I want to talk about a very important topic this week. I have been thinking about this for a while and I thought a Sunday post would be the best place to tackle this topic. Anger or more specifically, being hotheaded.
If you don't know me personally, then you won't know that I can be quite hotheaded. I am not someone to shout or yell at someone, but I am quick to anger and I do hold grudges quite easily. But recently, I have been trying to break out of this cycle. As you grow every day, you find certain parts of your personality that are almost counterproductive to your goal of self-love and overall acceptance of yourself.
1. Ask yourself, is this something worth getting angry about?
Are you just getting angry because it's your first natural response? It's so important to understand, that if you are naturally hot-headed, getting angry is usually easier than any other response. But, it isn't always the correct one.
2. Take a breath
Sit, take a breath and think, does this matter? Is this going to affect me in the long run? Somethings really aren't worth your tears or arguments.
3. Take a break
But your phone down, get up, leave the room, evacuate the entire situation. Remove yourself. Stop replying to the texts or posts that are making you angry. If something is meant to go a certain way, it will. Take a breath, relax, sleep on it and in the morning, if you are still angry, then go from there.
4. Think about the other person
If you are angry due to someone else's actions, consider why they have done that before you get angry. This is definitely a new step for me. Sometimes, people go through things and their feelings bubble in certain ways. Not everything that makes you angry is necessarily aimed at you and you need to think about other people around you. People make mistakes and although you shouldn't always let your anger go, as it may lead to you being treated like a doormat, you have to learn who is going through a tough time themselves.
5. Anger is sometimes a completely rational response
Don't get me wrong, anger is sometimes the correct feeling. Anger is a completely valid feeling to have. If you do all the things above, you take a breath, you think about it, sleep on it and you are still angry, then express it. I am not saying anger is a completely negative feeling but having the hotheaded trait does mean that it's the easiest thing to express. Maybe the correct response is to ignore actions but maybe, just maybe, it's to stand up and explain why you feel the way you do. Anger can be healthy too.
So from one hotheaded human to another, please think before you shoot straight to anger. Sometimes, your anger is not misplaced and believe me, I am all on board with being treated with the respect you deserve. But think first. Do I need to get angry about this right now? Sometimes, it's better to ignore and move on.
What I was listening to whilst I wrote this: Would you be so kind - Dodie
'Do more things that make you forget to look at your phone'
Okay, lets me preface this by saying, I am an avid social media user. I love social media. I am an Instagram addict, I have a Tumblr account, I am active on Facebook and I am partial to Twitter.
I do a lot of work on my phone, I communicate a lot through social media and all around, I feel that platforms like Facebook and Instagram are good when you need to keep in contact with people
But, because I do use social media a lot, it means that I tend to get very...involved with it. For example, I do see things that affect me. Eg. Thin models, people with problematic opinions or just general hate speech. But I have started to this thing, where I don't get angry or bitter, I get better. I have started to unfriend, unfollow and block people who don't brighten my feed every day. I have started to share more things (especially on Facebook) that I feel are correct. I have begun to share content about self-love, happy relationships and just general love. I have even started a facebook page dedicated to my positive blog posts and constructive quotes (follow it here ). I felt like my feed needed a little more light.
I feel like my second point should be about actually putting your phone done once in a while, stepping back from all social media and just spending time with friends and family. I love taking photos and I feel that creating memories that you can physically go back and look at is really important for anyone. But there is a time and a place for photos. This sounds really cliche but 'you have to live in the moment' sometimes.
Although I use social media a lot, I am not someone who posts every second of their day. But being a blogger means I do have to put a large portion of my day-to-day life on social media. However, I do love just spending time with people and not having to post it everywhere.
So take a second before you leave the house and just think - do I need to take my phone today.
*This is not my photo
What I was listening to whilst I wrote this: Body Count - Jessie Reyez
'The best relationships usually begin unexpectedly'
Hello hello. I hope you are well. I really starting to like this positivity posts that I have been doing weekly. It makes me feel good writing them and I get so many messages a week saying that others have enjoyed them too. Thank you for the ongoing support. This week, I have decided to tackle the subject of relationships.
I want to broaden the topic of relationships in this post. Yes, a relationship is and can be between you and a significant other. However, I also want to talk about your relationships with your friends, your parents, even your pets. More often than not, relationships, in regards to your partner, are spoken about as having to be 50/50. You have to put in as much effort as you receive. Which, whilst being good advice, I think every relationship should be 50/50. There is no relationship in your life which will work out if you don't give as much as you get from it.
All relationships are tricky. You don't always get along with your friends, parents or partners. The idea of a relationship should not always be about romance. It should be about trust, no matter who it is with. With trust comes the idea of vulnerability. When people say that 'they find it hard to trust someone else' it generally means that they are afraid to be vulnerable. But if you can't break down that wall for at least one person, parent, partner or friend, then you will end up isolating yourself. Not every person is the same, not every person will hurt you. But its all about weeding out the ones that will.
And finally, a relationship is between you and one other person. Again, and I feel the need to keep repeating this...This is the same with all relationships. When you develop a relationship with someone, no matter what the nature of that relationship is, it is solely between you and that person, unless you want it otherwise. If you are with a partner, it is no-one else's business what is happening between you two. And it is the same for the relationship between you and your parent, you and your friend and even you and your dog. In this day and age, when social media is huge, it becomes easy to find out little details about everybody's various relationships. However, think about privacy and how it wouldn't be fun to have your very own relationships invaded.
I loved writing this post and I really hoped you enjoyed reading it. Have a super good week.
I want to broaden the topic of relationships in this post. Yes, a relationship is and can be between you and a significant other. However, I also want to talk about your relationships with your friends, your parents, even your pets. More often than not, relationships, in regards to your partner, are spoken about as having to be 50/50. You have to put in as much effort as you receive. Which, whilst being good advice, I think every relationship should be 50/50. There is no relationship in your life which will work out if you don't give as much as you get from it.
'Kiss your friend's faces more / destroy the belief that intimacy must be reserved for monogamous relationships / be more loving / embrace platonic intimacy' (Lora Mathis)
And finally, a relationship is between you and one other person. Again, and I feel the need to keep repeating this...This is the same with all relationships. When you develop a relationship with someone, no matter what the nature of that relationship is, it is solely between you and that person, unless you want it otherwise. If you are with a partner, it is no-one else's business what is happening between you two. And it is the same for the relationship between you and your parent, you and your friend and even you and your dog. In this day and age, when social media is huge, it becomes easy to find out little details about everybody's various relationships. However, think about privacy and how it wouldn't be fun to have your very own relationships invaded.
I loved writing this post and I really hoped you enjoyed reading it. Have a super good week.
What I was listening to whilst I wrote this: I Love You, Honeybear- Father John Misty
'I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet' - Mahatma Gandhi
That's start by saying - this is all my own opinion and personal experiences with people who have been deemed 'toxic'. I don't want it to sound like a 'toxic person' is a new species of human and that every person who performs any of these actions are awful, dreadful people. But I have found, that for me spotting someone who is too toxic for you can be extremely difficult and sometimes, it's the last person you would expect. I am the sort of person who has, what I would describe as an 'extremely open heart'. I like to help people and always think they would do the same for me. Which to be fair, doesn't always work out well.
Do you think you have a toxic person in your life?
They will bring your mood down
I am genuinely a happy person who likes to put a smile on other peoples faces. I would describe myself as an extrovert, I love the company of others. But, this sometimes means that I attract people that are the opposite. Which I don't mind, I have friends that are extremely similar to me and love being around people. And I also have other friends that prefer their own company. But it's when a person brings you down, which is when those non-similarities should worry you. There is a difference between you helping a friend out of a bad patch or a gloomy mood occasionally, compared to helping them all the time. In any friendship or relationship, your feelings are vaild too. If a person is always bringing down your good vibes, that is a good enough reason to cut them out of your life, if you feel that is the best move. You are not someone's counsellor.
You are always in debt to them
You know when you live with someone and you ask them to take the bins out? Or when you are in the same class and you ask if you can borrow a pen? Yeah, well when a 'toxic person' does these little 'favours' or gestures, it usually comes with a debt attached. A toxic person can never just do something to be nice, a good deed is never just a good deed. A nice interaction is usually for a gain or some sort.
They will forever have a chip on their shoulder
People with toxic tendencies will always think the world owes them something. In my family, everyone works really hard. I have always been taught that nothing comes easily and working hard will get you a long way. I love this about my family. However, some people don't think like this. Working hard is not first nature to them and sometimes, they don't even feel like they are actually owed something. You can help and help and help this person but they will never help you in return because they feel they are owed that assistance. Again, put yourself first. For example; if you spend hours writing an essay that you are proud of, you do not need to give it to the person who doesn't do any work themselves.
Nothing is ever their fault
Facts mean nothing to a toxic person, they will twist the truth so thoroughly that it will have you actually questioning what happened. Every argument will be spun as your fault and eventually it will leave you apologising because either it's easier or you genuinely think it is your fault.
I hope this has helped you a little this week! I know it's hard to cut people from your life, especially if you have a big heart. But cutting toxic people from your life is not cruel, it's called self-care. Life is about finding those people who are going to support and love you unconditionally.
*Not my photo
Hello Hello...Do you have a Comfort Zone? I do.
It's summer and that calls for shorter shorts, smaller t-shirts and bikinis. And for some people, that might not be what they are comfortable with, me included.
I was talking to one of my friends recently about power colours and how hers is red (Hi Tam). I had never considered myself to have any power colours but since summer has rolled around, I found that actually maybe mine is black? I know that sounds strange and that black is not technically a colour (...it's a shade) but I always feel more powerful when I am wearing black.
There are a few reasons I like wearing black:
- I am extremely pale and I find that wearing all black minimizes that.
- From a young teenager, I was always told black was more slimming.
- It makes me feel more powerful in general
- I am super short and if I could feel a little more powerful, then I feel like it makes up for the height difference.
I went outside my comfort zone and wore orange and guess what...not black accessories. I have always had this idea that I look ill in bright colours like pink, orange and yellow. But recently, I have really enjoyed wearing those colours and actually have had some compliments from them.
I have plenty of other things I don't feel comfortable doing, but I am going to start working on them one by one. For example, at the beginning of taking my media and creative writing degree, I was really uncomfortable writing short stories. I found it difficult to fit everything I wanted to say in 800 words or less. But I kept working on it until I loved what I was writing. Because, spoiler, you set your own comfort zones. Yeah, I enjoy wearing black and only sticking to larger stories or poetry. But I don't have to do those things. I can change it up whenever I want and that's up to me.
Everyone has completely different comfort zones but you will forever be stuck in them if you don't work on them. But your job as a human is to respond nicely to people that are trying to work on them. So, this summer, wear what you want. Whatever colour, whatever body shape you are, do what you want. Step outside your comfort zone.
What song I was listening whilst writing this post: Shot Gun- George Ezra
*This is not my photo
Hello...My name is Asher-Lee Tulip Downer and I have been part of a fostering family for many years.
These are my younger brothers - and they are adopted.
Disclaimer: This post is going to be heavily opinionated but it's not sponsored.
Since a young age, my parents have been foster carers. And since moving to, what I consider a city, I have found that fewer and fewer people actually know what fostering is. Instead of explaining to the copious amounts of people who aren't aware of fostering, I usually just say 'you know Tracey Beaker? The Dumping Ground? Yeah, it's like that'. But to be honest, I am getting bored with that explanation. So here we go, here is why I think fostering and becoming part of a foster/adoption family, is important.
1. What is fostering?
The definition of 'foster' is to raise a child, not from birth, that is not your own. A lot of people that have heard of adoption but not fostering and let me tell you - the world is lacking foster carers.
2. Why not?
My favourite saying the world is 'love without hesitation' and I think that applies to every aspect of life. If you have the time, the money, the knowledge and the love, why would you not foster a child or children? There are always plenty of kids in need and there always will be. If you think that you can provide a home for some little lives, then why not?
3. Charity starts at home
According to The UK fact-checking charity, there are currently 128,000 children in temporary accommodation across Great Britain and if you could prevent even one of those children from having to wonder where their next meal came from, you would. My friends always say that I'm a 'walking advert for fostering' and I am proud to be that way. Children are so important and there are plenty of children across England who are in need of help, love and care.
4. My Brothers and adoption
Adoption definitely gets more limelight than fostering. Although it's hardly ever that I see an adoption advert, I definitely, definitely, definitely never see a fostering advert. My family fostered my brothers for a few years and after seeing how well they fit into my family, we decided that it was the best place for them. However, this doesn't always happen. Before my little brothers, we fostered a lot of other young adults and children. They all come with their own, separate problems and backstories. It isn't easy but the more time and attention you give an individual, the more their self-confidence builds and the more growth you see. Every person is important and every person is worth your time.
I am sorry for this rant of a post. But I hope you will take the time to consider your very own situation. Thank you to my parents who taught me to love without hesitation. For introducing me to wonderful new people and wonderful new ways to help every person I meet.
*this is not my photo
What song was I listening to whilst writing this: Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
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