My Thoughts on: Adult Friendships

Wednesday 19 September 2018

Welcome to another 'A Note On...' post. Let's add to this little series, shall we? To quote the classic Mulan film, let's get down to business...

This week, I want to talk about friendships, but most importantly, adult friendships. Yes, there is more to friends than the ones you make in primary school or high school. I am talking about a certain, mature friendship that comes with years of complaining, bitterly drinking coffee and crying together. There is nothing that will bring you closer. But most importantly, I want to talk about my friends. The people who I see pretty much every day (without fail) who make every day, that little bit brighter, that little bit lighter and that little bit more fun. 

So, if you are a regular reader (if you aren't, then welcome, good to see ya), then you would often read a post which will include the words 'my roommate' or 'my best friend who I live with'. This is  Shalieka, the yin to my yang, my partner in crime, my best friend who is currently sat, drinking coffee in my room with no trousers on. She is basically my assistant. She takes all my photos, navigates through the majority of my contracts and helps me when I am stress-crying about my posting schedule alongside uni work. Although we differ in many ways, she is great to get drunk with and will even make a coffee in the morning when I am too hungover to move. So when you see the word 'roommate' or 'housemate', that's my best friend Shalieka. 

Katie or Katherine as I shall call her from now on is my spark in an otherwise dull day. If she had a pound for every time I called her crying at early hours of the morning, she would have exactly...£4, which I know doesn't sound a lot, but I am not really a crier and as we have only been best buds for just over a year now, that's a lot to me! She is my go-to when I want to drink wine, cry, study or watch WAY too many hours of YouTube videos instead of studying for our degree. We are in constant contact. I mean that literally. Constant. If we are not together, we are either putting witty comments in our group chat or on the phone to each other. We spend so much time together that her having a bad dream is regualry a topic of our conversations because the time we go to sleep is actually the only time we spend apart.  An adult friendship is offering support but also, it's being able to spend countless hours with each other and never getting bored.

Hello, Tamar. I know you are definitely reading this, but will you comment on it today? Who knows? It is often said, that friendships that start rocky usually end up the best and I think that applies here. To all the messages that we send expressing how much we love each other, only to be met with 'how drunk are you?' in response and to all the times, we have actually got drunk together, let's keep those coming, I enjoy those. Thank you for letting me nest in your house throughout summer, thank you for remembering every detail about me and thank you for being in my life. 

Lauren/Loz, I want to begin first by apologising. I am sorry for screaming at you repeatedly to make a good video, I am sorry for waking your mum up and I am sorry for navigating you into that tiny parking space, which ended up in you scratching your brand new car. But more importantly, I am sorry for making you pee yourself that one time - and I am sorry for repeating it now, on the internet, when I have nearly 10k in followers. I love you lots. Thank you for inviting me into your crazy family and making me into your life-long friend. I will always visit you, a bottle of wine in hand and watch (shameless), countless hours of the Kardashians, whilst cuddled up in bed. Also, massive thank-you for my coffee addiction, that was all you. I shake now when I don't have coffee for 24 hours now. 

I didn't know whether to include my boyfriend in this post about adult friendships. But, as I thought about it more, I realised that adult friendships are about compromise, support and patience. Which is exactly what an adult relationship entails. My boyfriend definitely has to be to one of my best friends. You will listen to me bitch, express my feelings and laugh so hard that I cry. You will tell me every day that I look beautiful and that I can accomplish every task that I have set for myself, even if I don't feel like it. You will make sure I have eaten properly that day and that I have turned my straighteners off before I left the house. You also tolerate my snoring, my hair being all over your clothes (even though I haven't seen you that day) and my general messiness. Thank you for being in my life. 

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte, where do I begin? I don't think 'wife' or 'better half' is a strong enough phrase to quite describe what type of adult friendship we have. If I have gossip, I will call you. If I have done something not exactly 'smart', I will call you. But most importantly, you are a good influence to my bad ways. Every time I sip my PSL (pumpkins spiced lattes for all my uncultured, un-basic readers), I think of you. Every time I shop for Halloween decorations, I think of you. Thank you for making my sixth form the funniest and laziest two years of my life. I love you, my queen. 

Hello Katie. I really hope you are reading this because an adult friendship is exactly what we have. And I want to thank you for many things. First of all, thank you for letting me loose on your Tinder that one time, it was funny and I apologise (from both me and Charlotte) for all the creepy messages you have received. I will always be there when you are worried because I know you worry a lot. But that's what adult friendships are. Think of me as your leaning post. Something you can lean on whilst you hike up the mountain of life and you need to catch your breath. Thank you, my OG princess (cringe, I am so sorry). 

Liam, my heart, my soul, the one who will remove my shoes and makeup when I am drunk. One day, I will cut off your tongue for chewing loudly next to me. An adult friendship is all about compromise and believe me, there is nothing but compromise in ours. Sometimes I want to murder you. But when I hear you trip-trap down the stairs to make you midnight toast, I can't help but calling you into my room and having a catch-up session about our day, even though, we have, as usual, spent pretty much all of it together. Thank you for listening to me whine and cry at 1am in the morning, thank you for washing up after me when I decorate the kitchen in food and more than anything, thank you for worrying about me. 

You never forget your first university friend and believe me, I never will. I won't see you for months and once we are finally reunited, we are able to pick up exactly where we left off, all over again. You made me a cup of tea and watched Fresh Meat with me whilst I cried on my first night of university. You are always the first to comment on or like my posts. You always make time to see me for coffee.. You are the best, first university friend I could ever ask for. 

Basically, what I am saying is, if there is a friend in your life that has been there for you, do not let them go.  

If I have missed you off of this list - I want to say thank you. This is just a handful of my adult friendships that I experience every day. I hope this very personal post wasn't boring to read. I really enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading, my little rays of sunshine. 

Join the conversation!

  1. I actually love this post a lot

  2. You're so cute I love this post tysm 💖

  3. Love this post so so much and I’m sorry I’m not the first to comment for once 😂 keep going, so proud of how far you have come x

  4. Another fab post, I love this series, and I think this could be my favourite, I actually got a lil emotional thinking of all my friends, and thinking of my first university friend! Such a cool idea!

  5. Absolutely loved this post Asher! It's so lovely to read about all of your friends - they all sound amazing :) xx

  6. I've probably read this post a hundred times, fills my heart whenever I do

    Love you Petal xx



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