Sunday, 5 August 2018

A Note On... Toxic People

'I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet' - Mahatma Gandhi


That's start by saying - this is all my own opinion and personal experiences with people who have been deemed 'toxic'. I don't want it to sound like a 'toxic person' is a new species of human and that every person who performs any of these actions are awful, dreadful people. But I have found, that for me spotting someone who is too toxic for you can be extremely difficult and sometimes, it's the last person you would expect. I am the sort of person who has, what I would describe as an 'extremely open heart'. I like to help people and always think they would do the same for me. Which to be fair, doesn't always work out well.


Do you think you have a toxic person in your life?






They will bring your mood down


I am genuinely a happy person who likes to put a smile on other peoples faces. I would describe myself as an extrovert, I love the company of others. But, this sometimes means that I attract people that are the opposite. Which I don't mind, I have friends that are extremely similar to me and love being around people. And I also have other friends that prefer their own company. But it's when a person brings you down, which is when those non-similarities should worry you. There is a difference between you helping a friend out of a bad patch or a gloomy mood occasionally, compared to helping them all the time.  In any friendship or relationship, your feelings are vaild too. If a person is always bringing down your good vibes, that is a good enough reason to cut them out of your life, if you feel that is the best move. You are not someone's counsellor. 


You are always in debt to them

You know when you live with someone and you ask them to take the bins out? Or when you are in the same class and you ask if you can borrow a pen? Yeah, well when a 'toxic person' does these little 'favours' or gestures, it usually comes with a debt attached. A toxic person can never just do something to be nice, a good deed is never just a good deed. A nice interaction is usually for a gain or some sort. 


They will forever have a chip on their shoulder

People with toxic tendencies will always think the world owes them something. In my family, everyone works really hard. I have always been taught that nothing comes easily and working hard will get you a long way. I love this about my family.  However, some people don't think like this. Working hard is not first nature to them and sometimes, they don't even feel like they are actually owed something. You can help and help and help this person but they will never help you in return because they feel they are owed that assistance. Again, put yourself first. For example; if you spend hours writing an essay that you are proud of, you do not need to give it to the person who doesn't do any work themselves. 


Nothing is ever their fault


Facts mean nothing to a toxic person, they will twist the truth so thoroughly that it will have you actually questioning what happened. Every argument will be spun as your fault and eventually it will leave you apologising because either it's easier or you genuinely think it is your fault. 



I hope this has helped you a little this week! I know it's hard to cut people from your life, especially if you have a big heart. But cutting toxic people from your life is not cruel, it's called self-care. Life is about finding those people who are going to support and love you unconditionally. 

What I was listening to whilst I wrote this: I believe in a thing called love- The Darkness 



*Not my photo





11 comments

  1. Perfect post Asher, truth spoken as always.... remove those toxic people even if it’s taken yiubalong time to realise that’s what they are.... follow people who feel like sunshine...... love you your mumma.xx

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  2. I relate to this post so much! Great advice x

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  3. I really like this post well said x

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  4. Great post, Asher! It's taken me quite a long time to catch the toxic people but I'm getting there slowly like yourself!

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